kutte | IC CONTACT ( ATARAXION )

My ass has better things to do than get offered up as collateral.

[ talking around the what happens now is something jax is going to keep doing. he doesn't know what to do about this whole fucking situation. he runs his fingers up and down her arm, eyes on the ceiling. ]

You still nauseous?

Good. [ she can't help getting in the last word, even as her own tone makes her wince. after a beat: ] It's better right now.

[ which is a yes, but tara's fine talking around 'what if something's wrong with the baby' as long as it's possible. at least an abortion would have been her choice, losing it would be--

she swallows, tries for a smile. ]

That's something, right?

Yeah.

[ jax is quiet. he wants a cigarette, but he doesn't want to get up. there's a long pause, and then-- ]

You gonna tell me?

[ when in doubt, fire the first shot. ]

Tell you what?

[ at least she doesn't have to play dumb so much as... exaggerate it, maybe. there's a lot of things gemma could have said, and she'd rather only fight about what they have to.

the truth and nothing but seemed easier in theory. ]

I'm tired, Jax. If you want to know something, just ask me. [ again, this time as an apology: ] I'm tired.

[ what. jax's expression tightens, and he splays a palm out across her belly. he doesn't say anything, just watches her face, eyebrows raised expectantly. ]

Gemma?

[ of course she it was gemma, the thought is clear on tara's face. ]

I wasn't not going to tell you, I was... waiting. [ with a sigh she curls her hand over his, fingertips curled under his palm. ] The baby's fine.

Yeah.

[ jax is quiet for a few minutes, just holding her close. she's pregnant and they're up here with fuck knows what else, and everything back home-- ]

You sure?

I had one of the doctors run a couple tests. He said everything's fine, other than a few vitamin levels I need to bring back up.

[ her grip turns more to holding his hand as well as she can like this, twining their fingers together. ]

We're all fine.

[ who 'we' actually includes is another topic for later. ]

You should have fucking told me, Tara.

[ his voice is hushed, no real heat, just exhaustion. it's not really a god thing, jax getting quiet rather than getting mad, but it seems like too much to be pissed about when they're lost in space. ]

I tried to get you get take me with you to Ireland, remember?

[ but she's quiet too, more regretful than angry. these are the things she'd rather not deal with, let alone remember at all. ]

And I didn't know for sure until after Ima. I couldn't be with you because you wanted my child and not me, Jax. I love you too much for that.

What, you planning on tell me you were pregnant on the goddamn plane?

[ considering everything that had happened in belfast, it was the last place he'd want the mother of his child. jax is keyed up just thinking about it, grip on her tightening. ]

Absolutely, if I had to.

[ the urge to drive her elbow back into his gut is almost impossible to resist and she digs her nails into his wrist instead, voice low and vicious. ]

Don't you dare turn that one around on me, Jax. Don't you dare.

[ you fucked around on me. you left me. they're on the edge of her tongue but tara swallows them back for the moment, gentling her grip. ]

You know now, and that's what matters.

And now we're on some floating deathtrap.

[ like the location makes all the difference. maybe it does. jax hasn't decided, even if he's almost already sure of how this is gonna go. put all their other shit behind them until they're home, until-- ]

Christ.

[ there's a suggestion of movement in the way he draws breath, body tensing like he's preparing to get up. ]

[ sooner rather than later, wanting to take a strip off jax's hide for everything he did will overwhlem relief at seeing him again. for now the only thing worse than having to be near him is being alone. ]

Don't, just— hold me, okay? [ she presses his hand into her belly a little too hard. ] Hold us.

[ it's not a solution. it's not much of anything, and jax knows it. but she's got his hand against her stomach, and that's what wins out, beats out the urge to cut and run ( stupid and childish and immature, but jax teller's not perfect ) because tara knowles will always have the ability to reel him in. she's had hooks in him since they were kids. nothing's changed. ]

Okay.

[ quietly, begrudgingly, but he kisses her forehead, doesn't take his hand away. ]

Try to sleep.

[ not that either of them have since they got here, but. ]

IC CONTACT ( ATARAXION )

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